ummm... last night lying on the terrace looking at the sky I realized ont thing.. Itz been such a loooong time i've lied like dat and looked at the stars... memories flashed like a movie in the sky..... all those days.. the days when we all used to sleep upstairs... lying on our mattresses looking at the sky.... MOON.. ahan... moon was the natural cooler as mum n dad called it... (: 
  the days so free of all the worries... so full of dreams... 
DREAMS... i've grown up now... time to live those dreams.. 
don't know what i want with this life.. yeah i don't really do.. i mean i know i'm 23... and i'm a grownup who is mature enough to know dis answer... but i don't do.... i've no idea why... but that is the reality,...

REALITY... what it actually is.. i mean what is ur definition of reality.... ummmm... for me it is something that we feel all around us... or is it? the world all around us.. the world so full of people... 
People- good and bad,, people- selfish and mean, people- angels and sweethearts.. people- as i know them,... as they know me... 
why do we form an opinion f people around us.. I don't understand.. but that is a fact that we do... i mean we have to classify people around us under some head... why?? what is the reason... can't they just be people?? and if not anything else then they r being classified as a boy or a girl, men or women...
I mean why? can't they just be people? HUMANS.. as we call them...
I'm saying dis.. even I form opinions.. even i classify them somehow.... 
actually sometimes itz better to be neutral.... as what life actually is?? is it living to form opinions, having grudges, hating people all the life, and just dying just like dat befor even realizing that we were wrong.... coz this is nit the celluloid world- where in the end everything is just fine.. bad people either die or they realize their mistakes... see i just called those people bad... see itz just like dat... why r they bad? they r not bad... no person is good or bad.. but an amalgamation of both.... both... yups... 
  Anyhow.. I was talking about the memories.. they just flashed in front of me... like a whole movie... Why do we grow up.. childhood was the best time we ever had.. growing up with all those worries... why why why... why are there so much complications in life.. why do we make even the simplest of relationships so complicated... always scared of something...
 I am.. I am scared of something all the time... Cannot fall into relationships... scared of broken trust.. scared of a broken life.... scared of... of.. i don't know what ! but scared I am.. Yes, I am !